Dr. Love: Stuck
Sunday, August 26th, 2012
Dear Doctor Love,
I’m happy to see that there is a local advice column in San Pedro because I may be moving there soon. I have had the same boyfriend for nearly three years and he is planning to move here to take a job. He wants me to come with him.
Although he is older than me by more than ten years, I love him very much. I try to listen to his advice because I know he is wiser than I am but sometimes I feel like some of my decisions have to be made on my own. I know that if I wanted him to, he would marry me and even go for having children. On the other hand, I know that these are things that I will want but he will be doing them just to please me.
I love the idea of leaving theU.S.and going off on a big adventure inCentral Americabut I also think that I should eventually go back to school. From what I can tell, there are no colleges that I could attend inBelize.
I feel like, either way, I am going to lose something. If I go to Belize with him I won’t be able to go to college and pursue my career. On the other hand, I hate the idea of not going with him and letting love go by the way.
What is my best bet?
/s/ Stuck inOregon
Your best bet is always your best interests, whatever they may be. The problem is that often your best interests are only clear in hindsight. Looking back, it is a lot easier to say, “I should have done this or that,” than it is to decide when the time is at hand.
If you had to choose between love and adventure, the Doctor would certainly tell you to go for the adventure. That is because the Doctor believes that love lurks around the corner in every big adventure. It is only those who stay at home where life never changes who are missing the big opportunities in love.
Since your case involves combining love with adventure, the Doctor advises caution. If you go off to your big adventure with someone else you are bringing the past with you. Big adventures and opportunities for love usually call for cutting ties with the past.