Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
My husband and I were divorced two years ago. He was a cheater, an abuser and a manipulator who was very good at hiding his private life from those around him. The only people who know the details of the divorce from me were my close friends and family. All of my friends have been very supportive but many of them are curious about what caused the split in my marriage. My ex moved away so they can’t ask him about it. Even though they have been nice to me some of them are always questioning to find out what went wrong. These people also make a lot of assumptions and try to give me advice to get over the relationship because I have not started dating. I have avoided their questions because I feel it is no one’s business but mine. The truth is that I am long over the relationship and I am simply relieved that it’s over. I will date when I am ready.
I know they would stop questioning me if they knew the details. Should I go ahead and tell them and relieve some of the stress?
/s/ Better Than That
Dear Better,
Don’t tell them. Thank them for their interest but tell them you have moved on and do not want to discuss it. Tell them that the subject of dating again is a very personal one and that you don’t want to discuss it until it happens.
Dear Doctor Love,
My boyfriend and I lived together for our first year and then I had to move back in with my mom. A lot of things have changed. For one thing, I don’t trust him like I used to. I have heard a lot of rumors about him and at least two other girls. We argue a lot but neither of us really wants to let go because we really love each other. I think the answer is for us to move back in together and I have hinted about it. He knows what I am saying but he has not responded to the hints.
What should I do?
/s/ Suspicious
Dear Suspicious,
The last thing you need to do right now is to move in together. Living together requires complete trust. Without trust your relationship is only going to go downhill. Get with him and figure out why things have gone wrong and what you can do to fix them. Unless you do this your relationship will probably never move forward.
