Woofer: Amazing Legs

Sunday, November 11th, 2012

“Hey, Dennis. Let’s go to Ladies’ Night at Wet Willy’s,” Big Bob said.
Big Bob is my friend from South Carolina who comes here twice a year for the diving and fishing.
“What!? It’s my night off. I’m not going to waste it in a bar. I spend five nights a week playing music in bars already.”
“Oh, come on. It will do you good to get out for a night.”
“What do you want to go to Ladies’ Night for anyway?” I asked.
“I think that’s a pretty obvious question. I want to see some fine looking ladies. I hear that they dance on the tables out there.”
Wet Willy’s was packed when we got there at around 10:30.
“Keep an eye out for a table,” Bob said. “I don’t want to stand up all night.”
After we got a table and sat down with our drinks he said, “Wow! Look at that.”
A tall, slender young lady in a pair of extremely short shorts was doing some extreme dancing right next to us.
“What a pair of legs!” Bob said.
“There’s nothing wrong with them,” I admitted. “They seem to go all the way up.”
“I’m a connoisseur of legs,” Big Bob said. “I know fine legs when I see them.”
By 11:30 the music started heating up and so did the dancing. A young lady stepped onto the empty chair next to me and managed to scramble to the top of our table. She was wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts that said, “Guess” on the pocket.
“I’d guess about 190 pounds,” I said to Bob as we watched her do the punta above us.
“She’s got that muffin top thing going on,” he yelled at me over the music.
“What do you mean?”
“See how the fat squeezes out of the waist of the shorts? It looks like a fresh baked muffin.”
“O.K.”
“Those are some amazing legs!” Bob yelled, just as the music ended.
The girl giggled and smiled as she asked, “Do you really think so?”
“Yes ma’am, I do,” Bob said. “Most tables would have collapsed by now.”

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