Friday, April 19, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofers: Little Pills

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Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“Doc, I think I’m dying,” I said.

“I doubt it, Mr. Wolfe,” the doctor told me. “I suspect that you have that influenza virus that is going around. Let me run some quick tests.”

“I surely do feel half dead.”

“We’ll have you back in shape in no time,” he said.

Twenty minutes later he came back in the examination room and said,” I was right. It’s just the flu.”

“Here; take this,” he said, handing me a piece of paper. “This is a prescription for some antibiotics. Have it filled at the drugstore and follow the directions carefully.”

“Thanks, doc.”

At the drugstore, I turned my prescription over to the pharmacist and sat down to wait for the prescription to be filled. The door opened and a dried up little old man shuffled in.

“How can I help you sir?” the pharmacist asked.

“I want to get some of those little blue pills.”

“Which little blue pills would that be?”

The little old man said, “I got a friend who is eighty-one and he says he got some little blue pills here. He said they helped him a lot with his love life.”

“That would be the Viagra tablets,” the druggist said. “Yes, we have them. How many do you want?”

“I’ll take ten.”

“Here you are, sir. Ten Viagra pills,” the druggist said.

“Can you cut them up into sixths?”

“I guess I can,” the druggist said, “but I need to be honest with you, sir. One sixth of a Viagra tablet is not going to help you much with your sex life.”

“Son, I am eighty-seven years old,” the old man said. “I don’t care about my sex life. I just want it to work good enough so I quit peeing on my shoes.”

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