Friday, April 19, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Burglar

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“Mr. Dennis, can you give me a ride home? I’m too drunk to walk.”
I said, “Come on Mario. I’ll take you home but what are you doing out at two o’clock in the morning?”
“Same as you,” he said. “I was having a few drinks and celebrating.”
“What are you celebrating?”
“I was celebrating that it’s Friday and I got paid for some yard work but now I’m celebrating that you gave me a ride home before Maria came out to find me.”
As we got close to Mario’s house we could see that every light in every room was switched on.
“Uh-oh,” Mario said. “I smell trouble! Let me out here and I’ll try to sneak in.”
“Do you want me to help you with Maria?”
“No. I better do this myself.”
The next morning he found me drinking my early morning coffee on the deck of the Holiday Hotel.
“Mr. Dennis,” he said. “I’m broke. You got some little job for me?”
“I guess I could have you chop my grass,” I said. “Was Maria waiting up for you last night?”
“No. All the lights was on because a thief broke in to rob the house.”
“Oh, my!” I said. “Did he get anything?”
“He sure did,” Mario said. “Maria heard him and thought it was me trying to sneak in. He got a broken jaw, three broke ribs and six busted teeth.”

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