Hey Doctor Love, how do you deal with a friend who only shows up when they need something? Every time they call, it’s either for a ride, a favor, or help with money. But when I need support, they’re always “busy” or don’t answer. I don’t want to be rude, but I’m starting to feel used. How do I set boundaries without causing unnecessary drama? /s/ Convenient Friend
Dear Convenient Friend,
You’re not wrong. Maybe you are being used, but not in a big evil way, but in a quiet, habitual way that’s just as draining.
Some people get comfortable taking because no one ever slows them down. That’s where you come in. Boundaries don’t have to be loud or dramatic they can be simple and calm.
Next time they call asking for something, try: “I can’t this time.” No long explanation. No over-apologizing. Just that.
You’ll notice real quick what kind of friend they are. If they disappear or get annoyed, then you already had your answer. If they adjust and start showing up differently, then maybe there’s something worth keeping.
Friendship should feel like a two-way street, not a one-way taxi service.
You don’t need to make a scene. Just stop overextending and let their actions speak. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years now, and everything was going good until recently. Every time I bring up the idea of settling down, he changes the topic or jokes it off. But I see him posting about “loyalty” and “real love” on Facebook like everything is perfect. I’m not asking for a ring tomorrow, but I want to know if I’m wasting my time. How do I get a straight answer from him without sounding like I’m pressuring him? /s/ Moving Forward
Dear Moving Forward,
You’re not asking for too much you’re asking for clarity.
Right now, he’s comfortable where things are. The jokes, the deflecting… that’s not confusion, that’s avoidance. And those Facebook posts? Easy to write, harder to live.
If you want a straight answer, you’ve got to ask a straight question and then be quiet long enough to hear it.
Something like: “I’m not asking for a ring tomorrow, but I need to know if settling down is something you actually see with me or not.”
Then let him answer without rescuing him from the moment.
If he jokes again, dodges again, or gives you something vague… that is your answer.
You’re not pressuring him by asking where you stand. You’re respecting your own time.
Two years is long enough to know if you’re building something or just staying comfortable.
Don’t chase clarity. Ask for it once, and pay attention to what comes back. /s/ Doctor Love
Dear Doctor Love, I need some advice on when jealousy has gone too far. My boyfriend checks my phone, questions me about every conversation, and it’s starting to stress me out. I love him, but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. Is this normal, or is it a red flag? /s/ Relationship Check
Dear Relationship Check,
That’s not normal. That’s a red flag.
Jealousy in small doses happens we’re human. But checking your phone, questioning everything, making you feel like you have to explain yourself all the time? That’s not love, that’s control.
And the biggest sign here isn’t even what he’s doing it’s how you feel. Walking on eggshells is your gut telling you something’s off.
This kind of behavior usually doesn’t calm down on its own. It tends to tighten, not loosen.
You can try setting a clear line: “I’m not okay with my phone being checked or being questioned like this.” And watch how he responds.
A healthy partner will hear you. An unhealthy one will turn it into your fault.
Love shouldn’t feel like you’re being monitored.
You’re allowed to have space, privacy, and peace all at the same time. /s/ Dr. Love 
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
