Dear Doctor Love,
Is it just me, or did slow season come sooner than ever for tourism in San Pedro? I work in the hospitality industry at a resort that was once busy for at least five to six months a year. This year I felt only December and January was busy, everything else was mid. I am wondering if that’s the same thing all around? /s/ Slow Season
Dear Slow Season,
A lot of people are asking the same question right now.
The interesting thing is I don’t think we’re necessarily getting dramatically fewer tourists. What we’re seeing is that San Pedro has grown incredibly fast.
A few years ago, the same number of visitors were spread across far fewer hotels, vacation rentals, restaurants, bars, tour companies, and attractions. Today, there are simply more businesses competing for the same visitor dollar.
A pie that once fed ten businesses might now be feeding fifty.
That’s why some places feel slower even when planes are still landing and golf carts are still full of tourists.
The bigger question is whether development is happening faster than demand. Every year we seem to get more hotels, more vacation rentals, more bars, and more businesses opening their doors. That’s great when the visitors keep increasing at the same pace. It’s a lot harder when they don’t.
Growth is exciting, but growth without planning can create its own problems.
At some point this community has to ask themselves not just how much they can build, but whether the infrastructure, services, and tourism numbers are keeping up with what is being built.
Maybe that’s a conversation worth having before we approve the next big project. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I live in San Pedro and it feels like everybody knows everybody’s business. I told one friend something personal, and now half the island seems to know about it. I feel hurt and embarrassed. How do I deal with this friend without creating more drama? /s/ Small Island Drama
Dear Small Island Drama,
I’ll tell you something I’ve learned living on a small island: if it’s something you absolutely don’t want anybody to know, don’t tell anybody.
That might sound harsh, but secrets have a funny way of growing legs around here. Sometimes people gossip because they’re being nosy. Sometimes they share because they’re concerned about you. Sometimes they tell one person they trust, that person tells one person they trust, and before you know it the whole island knows by lunchtime.
That doesn’t mean your friend was right to repeat something you told them in confidence. If you’re hurt, it’s okay to tell them so. You don’t have to start a war over it, but you can absolutely say, “I trusted you with that and it disappointed me that it got around.”
The bigger lesson is figuring out who gets access to the personal parts of your life. Not everybody deserves front-row seats.
And don’t beat yourself up over being embarrassed. Most people are so busy worrying about their own business that they aren’t thinking about yours nearly as much as you think.
By next month the island will probably be talking about somebody else anyway. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
Living on a small island is hard enough after a breakup, but my situation feels like a Belizean soap opera. My ex and I split up months ago, and I swear I can’t go anywhere without seeing them. If I go out for tacos, he’s there. If there’s a beach party, he is there. If I attend a fundraiser or community event, somehow he shows up looking happier than ever.
To make matters worse, we share the same friend group. Every time there’s a gathering, I have to decide whether to stay home or spend the whole night pretending I’m unbothered. Recently, my ex started bringing his new partner around, and seeing them together feels like rubbing sea salt in an open wound.
I keep hearing people say, “Just move on,” but how am I supposed to do that when I’m getting front-row seats to their new life every week? Am I being petty for still feeling hurt, or is there a way to finally let go without having to leave the island? /s/ The Ex is Everywhere
Dear The Ex is Everywhere,
First of all, no, you’re not petty.
Breakups are hard enough. Breakups on a small island are a whole different sport.
The good news is you do not have to leave the island. You do not have to stop going to your favorite places. You do not have to hand over your life because a relationship ended.
Right now it stings because you’re still comparing your healing to what you’re seeing. But remember, you’re only seeing the highlight reel. You have no idea what’s actually happening behind the scenes.
My advice is something that sounds simple but takes practice: start treating your ex like someone you used to know.
Because that’s exactly what they are.
The person you dated doesn’t exist anymore. You’ve changed. They’ve changed. The relationship is over. In a strange way, you’re both strangers now.
Go to the parties. Go get tacos. Go to the fundraiser. Stop making decisions based on whether they might be there. The more you keep showing up for your own life, the less power those run-ins will have over you.
One day you’ll look across the room and realize seeing them doesn’t hurt anymore.
And that day usually arrives when you least expect it. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: dr.love@sanpedrosun.com