Dear Doctor Love,
I’m in my early twenties and recently received a job offer in Taiwan, where I previously studied. Returning there would be a great opportunity for my career and personal growth, but my parents want me to stay in San Pedro because they believe family should always come first. I love my family, but I also don’t want to pass up an opportunity that could change my future. Am I selfish for wanting to leave home and start the next chapter of my life abroad? /s/ Working in Taiwan
Dear Working in Taiwan,
I don’t think you’re being selfish at all.
Good parents want their children close. That’s normal. But they should also want them to spread their wings. If you stay only because you feel guilty, there’s a good chance you’ll always wonder, “What if?”
Taiwan isn’t forever. Home isn’t going anywhere. Go, work hard, learn everything you can, and come back when the time feels right, if that’s what you want. Your family will miss you, but they’ll survive. And they’ll probably be proud of you too.
Don’t let fear, yours or theirs, make this decision. /s/ Dr Love
Dear Doctor Love,
Every family gathering turns into gossip, criticism, or arguments. I leave feeling stressed instead of happy. Is it okay to start saying no to these events, even if my relatives get upset? /s/ Family Events
Dear Family Events,
Life’s too short to spend every weekend sitting somewhere you don’t even enjoy.
You don’t have to cut your family off, but you also don’t have to show up every single time. It’s okay to skip a few gatherings if they’re doing more harm than good.
The truth is, every family has that one auntie, uncle, or cousin who likes to stir the pot. You don’t have to drink from it.
Go when you want to, leave when you’ve had enough, and don’t feel guilty for protecting your peace. The people who get upset will probably find something else to gossip about anyway. /s/ Dr Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I started my own business after years of hard work, but now I feel like I’m being punished for it. Friends want everything at cost, family members expect freebies, and people I barely know message me asking for “just this one favor.” When I refuse, I’m told I’ve changed or that I think I’m better than everyone else. Meanwhile, my bills still have to be paid. How do I stop feeling guilty for charging people what my business is actually worth? /s/ Everyone expects discounts
Dear Everyone expects discounts,
Here’s something I’ve noticed. The people asking for discounts are usually the first to pay full price somewhere else without thinking twice.
You worked hard to build your business. Your rent, your bills, and your staff don’t get discounts, so why should your work?
If you want to help someone once in a while because you choose to, that’s generosity. If people expect it, that’s entitlement.
A real friend wants to see your business succeed, not survive on favors.
Charge your price, do good work, and let people talk. They’ll always find something to talk about anyway. /s/ Dr Love
Doctor Love is the island’s and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact the Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily those of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: dr.love@sanpedrosun.com