Doctor Love: My ex’s current beau is cheating on her

Sunday, January 27th, 2013

Dear Doctor Love,

I was in the city last week and went to eat a restaurant that is in a really out of the way place. After I sat down, I noticed a couple that was sitting in one of the booths on the other side of the restaurant. The way they were seated I could see them but they couldn’t see me. I know the guy but I don’t know the woman he was with.

The guy is the one that broke up my girlfriend and me about a year ago. We had been together for a while and had just moved in together. Within a week of meeting him, she left me and moved in with him. They are still living together.
When I saw this guy all lovey with another woman it was like somebody kicked me in the chest. I still have strong feelings for my ex-girlfriend, even after all I have been through. I wanted to pick up my phone and call her right then but I decided to wait. Since then I have thought about it a lot and I don’t know what to do. I am afraid that if I tell her she won’t believe me. If I don’t tell her, I know this guy is going to end up hurting her. Somebody needs to stop him before he does more damage than he has already done.

What is the best way to let her know what is going on without ruining my chances with her?

/s/ Unsigned

Dear Unsigned,

Dr-LoveWhy are you butting into someone else’s business? In case you haven’t caught on yet; she left you for him. What happens to them now is their business; not yours. The only control you have over them is the possibility of doing some damage to someone who hurt you in the past. If you want to do that, keep it separate from everything else. Just remember that it is not going to bring your girlfriend back.

For some reason, you seem to think that this guy came along and stole your girl away. It doesn’t work that way. No one can be stolen away from someone else unless they want to be stolen.

Chances are good that your ex-girlfriend already knows that her boyfriend is cheating. If she does not she will not be happy when she finds out. The first reaction on getting this kind of news is to get angry with the person who tells it to you. Is that what you want?

The only positive thing you could get out of this is to contact your ex-girlfriend and never mention what you saw. If she brings it up, then you might have a chance with her. If you bring it up, you can forget it.

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