Dear Doctor Love,
I have a friend that grew up next door to me. We have always been close friends since the time that we were wearing nappies. Over the years, she has copied and competed with me in almost everything that I do. That doesn’t make us enemies or anything but sometimes it gets annoying. It doesn’t matter whether it is a new dress style or a new boyfriend or even games at school, she will do anything she can to beat me. I talked to her about this before but it did not do any good. As a matter of fact she said that I copy her on a lot of things like the kind of clothes she wears. I don’t think that is true but I do know that if I try like a new shade of lip gloss, she will be wearing it the next week. If I get my hair cut she will soon have hers cut, too.
Should I try to talk to her again about doing something original? Should I even waste my time talking to her about competing with me for everything?
/s/ Still Ahead
Dear Still,
There is nothing wrong with competition between friends as long as it stays healthy and is not damaging to the relationship. There is nothing like rivalry to bring out the best in someone. Have you ever considered that without her there to push you, you might not be so far along at this point in your life?
Perhaps she competes with you so much because she admires you. Stop and think about it; why would she try to imitate someone that she did not respect? It seems as though she is paying you the most sincere sort of compliment by wanting to be like you. Would you feel better if she suddenly started following the lead of one of your enemies? Of course, you wouldn’t.
Jesus Christ would have been in a lot of trouble if he had your attitude. How could he ever keep a disciple if he told them to quit doing the same things that he did? Why don’t you just accept the fact that you are the leader in this relationship and that she is the follower?
