Doctor Love: Follow the head or the heart?

Sunday, May 19th, 2013

Dear Doctor Love,

Four months ago I went through a breakup with my boyfriend of two years. We had been drifting apart for the last six months and when it ended, neither of us had any hard feelings toward the other. I guess you would say it was a mutual breakup. We ran into each other at a party this weekend and after sharing a few laughs and memories, things started turning serious. He wants us to try it again. I admit, I still have feelings for him.

I talked about it with a couple of my friends and each of them had different advice for me. One says that when she is finished with someone, she is done. If she never sees them again, it will be fine.

The other friend has had the same boyfriend for a year and a half. They fight like cats and dogs and are always breaking up and getting back together again. She says that breaking up has its good side because making up is always so intense and everything is like falling in love all over again.

My heart tells me I want to try again, but my head says that my first friend is right. What do you think?

/s/ Love On The Rocks


Dear Love,

There is rarely anything to be gained by trying a relationship again. This is especially true of one that has withered away slowly. You might get a few weeks of fresh-seeming romance from a re-union, but time is not on your side in this case. A breakup done in the heat of an argument has a better chance of being re-ignited.

Our lives are natural progressions forward. In the meantime, we are constantly growing and changing. Does anything else in our lives go back and start over besides relationships? There is nothing that comes to mind. It is far better to move on to something new and exciting than to return to something that has already gone stale once before.


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