Doctor Love: Newly Wed

Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.

Dr-LoveDear Doctor Love,
I have been married for five months. My husband and I are very loving with each other. Every day when he leaves for work I say, ‘I love you,’ and he says it back to me. Twice in the last week when I said it he did not answer me. He just rushed out the door to work. When I asked him about it he said that both times he was late to work and did not hear me. He says that I am foolish to try to read anything else into it. I am worried that something may be going on. How far should I go with this?
/s/ Still Newly Wed

Dear Newly Wed,
You did not say whether this is your first marriage or how old you are but you definitely need to mature a little bit. If the man is running late that is a good reason why he might not be as focused on you as you are on him. He might be focused on not losing his job, which is probably as important in your life as whether or not he said goodbye. Get a life that includes more than your husband or you will soon run into trouble.

Dear Doctor Love,
When my sister married her husband she knew that he already had a child by another woman. Now, after eight years he finally arranged to meet his daughter. He is proud of her and he takes her to every family function that we have. This is all well and good but I happen to know that he never contributed a penny to the mother for the eight years before he met the child.
It is hard to act happy for them when I know what the real situation is. I thought about saying something to my family but I don’t want my sister to be hurt. What should I do?
/s/ Unsigned

Dear Unsigned,
The really important person in this entire affair is an eight year-old girl. It doesn’t matter what you think or how you feel about the situation. What matters is that this child has a father that she has never known. The second most important person in this is the father. He has a chance to get to know a child that he has never acknowledged.
Once he gets to know her it will be hard for him to ignore her needs for support. Give them both a chance by supporting them instead of spending time showing your disapproval of something that is really none of your business.

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