Doctor Love: Friendships and Cheating

Sunday, September 27th, 2015

Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.Dr-Love

Dear Doctor Love,
On my daughter’s fifteenth birthday we are planning to have a quinceaños party for her. It is not an elaborate party compared to some that we have seen on this island but my daughter is well known and has a lot of friends. Her friends will be invited along with their parents.
Three months ago she had a fight with her best friend. This is one of those fights where both say they will never speak again and spend a lot of time pretending to ignore each other. These girls have been close since primary school and always went everywhere and did everything together. In my heart I know that eventually they will make up. This brings me to my problem. My daughter says that she does not want her ex-best friend to be invited. I talked to the friend’s mom and she said that her daughter says that if she is invited she won’t go. The mother and I had a good talk and we can’t figure out what to do. Please help.
/s/ Confused Mom

Dear Mom,
We live in a small community. Many times have we seen people who fought and disliked each other in school but later became best friends. You and the other mother are going to have to take care of this.
Send an invitation to the girl and her family. Have the ex-friend’s mother tell the girl that the family will go and she must attend. She will be dying to attend anyway if only to show your daughter how little she cares. If necessary, tell your daughter that if the friend is not invited there will be no party.
It is hard to sustain anger when everyone around you is having a good time. There is a chance that the situation will resolve itself by evening’s end. If not, it is a step in the right direction.

Dear Doctor Love,
I have always cheated on my wife even though I love her and our children. I have never been caught yet but I feel guilty all of the time. I have tried to stop but I can’t. What can I do?
/s/ Big Cheat

Dear Cheat,
What’s going on? Are you falling down and these women keep falling under you? If not, your life pattern is not curable on your own. The Doctor rarely advises this but you need to confess to your wife. Then seek some professional help. Do it now because you will eventually be caught cheating.

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