Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
I have been married for less than two years. Every year at Easter my mother-in-law gather’s her family together and they have Easter dinner like other families do at Christmas and Thanksgiving. We live a long way from my mother-in-law. All of my husband’s three brothers and his sister live in Punta Gorda. For them it is only a short drive or even a walk to their mom’s house. We live in San Pedro and for us it is a sacrifice to go and it costs a lot of money. We have to catch a boat to Belize and then a bus to PG while traveling with a one year-old child. We have to stay there overnight and make the trip back the next day. My husband’s mom and her children are very nice people and I do not want to hurt their feelings. It’s too late for this Easter but what can I do for next year and the future?
/s/ The In-law
Dear In-law,
Next year find an excuse for not traveling. Invite the family for dinner at your house. They probably won’t make the trip but if they do there will never be any question about it if you don’t make it.
Dear Doctor Love,
My fiancé lives at home with his parents. He is only there in summer and on holidays from college. His younger brother lives there, too. His brother who lives there also and pays no rent (my fiancé does) is one of the most obnoxious people I have ever met. His table manners are like something out of a nightmare. He chews with his mouth open, picks his teeth and belches often. Once, the whole family went out to dinner and he picked his nose at the table. I almost threw up. Should I tell my fiancé why I don’t want to visit his house? I don’t want to offend him.
/s/ Apalled
Dear Apalled,
If you don’t tell your fiancé he might never know there is a problem. He grew up with him and is probably so accustomed that he does not even notice it. The two of you need to talk it out now because it is something that will only become worse with time. Ask how he feels about it. Explain to him why you don’t want the brother over to your house and especially why you don’t want to be in public with him. Lay your cards on the table now or expect trouble in the future.
