Doctor Love: Sad Mother-To-Be and Gifted
Sunday, July 16th, 2017
Readers, please send your letters. They can be emails, formal letters or handwritten notes. They are edited solely for grammar and spelling. Also, they are sometimes edited for length.
Dear Doctor Love,
My husband and I tried for five years to have a baby and we were overjoyed when I finally became pregnant. From the beginning my husband began planning what his life would be like with a son. He talked about teaching our little boy to play football and soccer and how he was going to take him fishing and camping. Last week I had my twenty-week anomaly ultrasound and during the course of the test, it became apparent that we were not having a little boy at all, but a little girl. My husband is terribly disappointed. He is depressed, won’t talk about the baby and even has called her my baby instead of ours. I am angry that he is being so selfish and is not able to focus on the fact that we are going to be blessed with a healthy child after trying for so long. How can I make him see that this baby is a gift, no matter the gender?
It happens more often than you think. While you are ecstatic to be pregnant and preparing for birth, diapers and sleepless nights, your husband skipped over the mundane to playing tackle with a mini version of himself. You are focused on having a baby but your husband had already built himself a son. Now your husband’s dream has been dashed and he is feeling floored. Give him time to realign his dream and help him to realize that a baby girl is not a consolation prize, it is rewarding in very different ways. He will come around. Carry him through this with love, and remind him, little girls play sports too.
Dear Doctor Love,
My auntie sent me a birthday present and my mother says I have to write her a thank you card. I told my mother that texting is the new thank you card but she insisted that I get an actual card and mail it. She won’t let me have my gift until I do it, so I am sending it, but I wanted to ask you about it. Is it really a big deal or is my mom as old fashioned as I think she is?
If your auntie sent your birthday gift by text, you can feel free to send her a thank you by text. If your auntie actually sent you a gift, then take ten minutes out of your busy schedule and actually send a proper thank you.
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