Dear Doctor Love,
I am engaged to a girl who is very materialistic. She is the only daughter, and her father has always given her everything she wants. Now that we are talking about getting married she says I can’t be so cheap if I want her to be my wife.
I work two jobs to save money every month. I don’t have a good education but I think by saving a little bit every month I can make a good future and when I am older I won’t worry about not having money. My girl always gets mad at me because I won’t go to my savings account and get money for her to buy things, like a new phone. Her phone is only a year old, so I said she doesn’t need a new one. She got mad and didn’t talk to me for almost a week. She also doesn’t like where I live and wants me to move to another place that costs more a month.
She said she would forgive me if I get her a scooter for Christmas. That will take every dollar I have saved for years, but she says if I buy her the scooter she will marry me.
I really love this girl, but I don’t think she will stop wanting stuff even if I get her the scooter. Her dad just laughs and tells me that I’d better get another job if I want to keep his little princess happy. How can I make her be less materialistic and love me for who I am and not for the stuff she wants from me?
Dear Working Guy,
You have almost five months until Christmas, plenty of time to tell her to “scoot-her” materialistic self on to the next wallet. Maybe he’ll have an apartment that meets with her approval.
You’re right on target with your saving strategy, and if you stick with it, you will have a home and family, and later you can enjoy the benefits of having worked hard in your youth so you can retire financially sound and stress-free.
Marriage works when both partners have a similar understanding of their goals and share the same priorities for their future together. Your wife should be selfless instead of selfish. She, like you, should be a giver instead of a taker. A married couple should be equal partners in everything from your financial health to your relationship health.
Send Daddy’s Little Princess back home and hold out for someone who appreciates you. You deserve a wife who won’t bleed you dry.