Doctor Love: Hand Enough

Sunday, April 14th, 2019

Readers, email your question to [email protected] Your letters are edited solely for grammar, spelling, and length.

Dear Doctor Love,
My husband snores like a freight train, and I have dealt with interrupted sleep for years. I mentioned separate bedrooms, and he got worried. Will it kill our love-life to sleep in different rooms?
/s/ Sleepless in San Pedro

Dear Sleepless
Before slipping off to the spare room, research snoring aids and give them all a try. If they fail, turn date night into a sexy invitation to your bedroom—or his bedroom. Or any room that takes your fancy.

Dear Doctor Love,
I dated a man for a long time, but our marriage lasted less than twelve months. I have moved on, but people still press me for details. Only one or two very close friends know the truth, but acquaintances are so curious. I could tell them, and it would justify my decision to divorce, but it would vilify him and bring back bad memories that I have tried to put away.
If I go out for an evening of fun, I’ll usually run into groups of people I know, and there’s always one or two who bring it up and want to know what happened. They say things like they can’t understand why I would date this “nice guy” for years, marry him and then split from him so shortly after our wedding. Some even offer advice based on the rumors they’ve heard or play the guessing game trying to figure out what he did to me.
I get frustrated when I hear the rumors, and I ignore the rude comments, but I wonder if maybe I should respond to them. Would telling the whole story put this to rest once and for all?
/s/Had Enough

Dear Had enough,
You’ve taken the high road this far so stay on it. You’ve kept your personal details private, and you don’t need to justify or explain yourself to anyone. Be content that you have done yourself proud and handled a difficult situation with dignity.
Remember this—people who have to press you for information are not in your circle of confidants, or they would already know the reason behind your split. You can safely assume they only want grist for the rumor mill and you don’t need to supply it.
Keep on hand a few phrases to get out of those situations where people are asking for information—ones such as; “This isn’t something I want to discuss,” or “it’s all in the past, and I would like to leave it there.”
For those really pushy types don’t be afraid to use an old favorite; “It’s none of your business.”

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