Doctor Love: Leave Me Alone
Sunday, December 1st, 2019
Readers, email your question to [email protected] Your letters are edited solely for grammar, spelling, and length.
Dear Doctor Love,
I dated a guy for a few years, and it ended over a year ago. We remained friends and we see each other occasionally. I am engaged to someone else and have moved on with my life.
My problem is his new girlfriend. He’s been dating her for about three months and from almost day one she has been stalking me both on the internet and in real life.
I’m not afraid of her but I think it’s weird that first, she sent me a “friend request,” which I declined. Then she began sharing the same status as me. I blocked her but she has friends who show her my posts and she puts the same one on her status. She makes vague references to her boyfriend’s “past life” in which she makes fun of me. It’s annoying and embarrassing, especially when she talks about things only, he could have told her about our relationship.
Worse is when I make plans with friends and she shows up wherever we go and follows us for the whole evening. She sits within hearing distance and talks very loudly about “her”—meaning me and boasts that my ex assures her every day that she is the love of his life.
I don’t want to go talk to her—I’m hoping she’ll see that she’s being stupid, but should I insist that my ex make her stop?
/s/ Leave Me Alone
Dear Leave Me Alone,
People who behave like her rarely have a sudden revelation that they are being jerks, so unfortunately you may have to just deal with it.
You could talk to your ex but be prepared for that conversation to show up on her social media and it won’t put you in a very good light.
She craves attention. She feels threatened by your very existence on the planet. You are someone who was important to the new man in her life and she’s trying to diminish you.
The best you can do in this case is to block her, then ignore her and hope she goes away or finds something more interesting to focus on. By not giving her the reaction she wants, she should soon tire of following you around, both virtually and in real life.
If her actions should become threatening, go to the police immediately. You could keep a diary of the events you’ve mentioned as proof of her malicious intent, but they likely won’t be of much significance to anyone but you.
Try to rise above and ignore. Live happily and at least annoy her with that.
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