Dear Doctor Love,
I am the grandmother of three wonderful kids and have been very involved in all of their activities and present at all important events since Day 1. The other grandparents are mostly absent due to distance and personal reasons. When they do show up or offer gifts or support, it’s made out to be a big deal, whereas my presence is taken for granted. I am never thanked for driving the kids to and from school and parties, taking them out for the day, or being there practically every time to babysit. My kids fall all over the absent grandparents every time they decide to show up for anything. Am I overly sensitive? Will the kids someday appreciate my presence, even though it doesn’t seem special now? /s/ Unappreciated Grandma
Dear Unappreciated Grandma,
It’s only natural to feel overlooked when you’re consistently there for your family, and they don’t seem to notice. But let me tell you this—your steady love and presence are far more valuable than you may realize. Kids, especially, may not yet grasp how much you do, but in time, they’ll understand and appreciate the deep bond you’ve built. Sometimes, consistency isn’t as flashy as those rare visits from the “absent” grandparents, but it’s the foundation. Hang in there, knowing that your role is irreplaceable. The love you’ve invested will pay off in ways you may not yet see. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
My sister recently gave me the most adorable pug. She claims she bought it from a breeder on the mainland, but I found out it belonged to her neglectful neighbor. Her neighbor was not feeding or cleaning up after the dog and was leaving it outside on their veranda. My sister got fed up when her neighbor took a vacation with her boyfriend and left the dog to fend for itself. She later confessed that she lied and told her neighbor the pug had escaped. She even showed me a clip of the girl hysterically crying about her dog. My sister found it funny and turned defensive when I said that it was cruel to her. She says it is cruel to get a pet and then purposely not take care of it. The girl was treating a living animal like a toy to be put up on a shelf as she pleased. I know my sister was fed up with having to be responsible for a pet she didn’t even want, but I guess her behavior just rubbed me the wrong way. Do I say anything to my sister? And for the record, I am keeping the pug. /s/ What is best for a pet
Dr. What is best for pet,
You’re right to feel uneasy about this. While your sister’s heart was in the right place wanting to help the pug, the way she went about it feels off. Compassion for animals should go hand in hand with compassion for people, even if they’re making poor choices. Yes, the neighbor was neglectful, but lying and finding humor in someone’s pain crosses a line. I’d suggest having a calm and thoughtful conversation with your sister about your feelings, not to condemn her, but to encourage her to think about the impact of her actions. And as for the pug, it’s in a much better place with you—focus on giving it the love and care it deserves. /S / Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love
A friend of mine retired and moved away from the island and passed her vacation rental management job on to me, which pays really well. My husband agreed to work with me, but he consistently doesn’t pull his own weight, causing us to argue every time. My husband has a flexible schedule at his other job and questions the importance of helping me out. It frustrates me that he doesn’t acknowledge the significance of this job to me. I’m technically his boss at this job, and I can’t afford to lose this job, nor can I manage it alone due to the demanding nature of dealing with guests. Even when he doesn’t help much, he still expects me to give him a share of the payment. How should I address this issue? /s/ Stressed out rental manager
Dear Stressed out rental manager,
This is a tricky one because you’re balancing both a business and a marriage, which are already complicated on their own. The key here is communication. Sit down with your husband and explain not just the workload, but how much this job means to you—both financially and personally. Make sure he understands that, while you appreciate his flexibility, this is a team effort. Be clear about expectations and how his involvement (or lack of it) affects you. It might also be time to set some boundaries around the money. If he’s not contributing equally to the work, it’s fair to revisit how the payment is split. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
