Dear Doctor Love
Are there effective ways to budget for the holidays? I feel like every year, my spending gets out of control—maybe that’s just part of the holiday season! I try to set spending limits for each person I’m buying gifts for, but the unexpected costs always seem to add up. This includes going over budget on gifts, agreeing to attend Christmas shows or events, and purchasing items to bring to festive parties. How can I plan for these additional expenses and stay on track? /s/ Holiday Daze
Dear Holiday Daze,
The holidays can feel like a runaway sleigh if you’re not holding the reins. Start by being real about what matters most—gifts, experiences, or the vibe of it all—and build your budget around that. Set a total amount, then break it into pieces: gifts, events, extras. Include the unexpected because, let’s face it, it will happen.
Try this: stick to your plan like you’d stick to a favorite holiday recipe—if you keep adding more, it’ll get overwhelming fast. And remember, people value thoughtfulness, not the price tag. A heartfelt gift or a meaningful moment can be worth far more than anything flashy. Focus on creating memories, not maxing out your bank account. More than anything remember what the holidays are about and don’t get lost in the material things. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
For seven years, my partner and I discussed our dreams of building a future together and navigating through both ups and downs. We finally took action on those promises, but just two months later, he told me that this wasn’t what he wanted and that it wouldn’t work. I uprooted my life, moved to the island with my daughter, left my family behind, and enrolled, all only to be told we needed to leave. Now, I’m left wondering: Where did this come from? Did I miss the signs? Was the relationship over long before I realized it? Is it really the cliché “it’s not you, it’s me”? I’ve decided to stay at least until the school year ends, but can we be roommates? Will that help or hurt our situation? I feel like I’ve been cheated and robbed of the dreams, goals, and purpose I held onto for so long. What do I do now? How do I move forward? /s/ Blindsided by false promises
Dear Blindsided,
There’s no way to sugarcoat it—this hurts. Deeply. It feels like someone pulled the rug from under your life, and now you’re scrambling to stay upright. Just keep standing strong.
Sometimes, people change, and their promises crumble—but that doesn’t mean your dreams are gone. They just look different now. Staying as roommates is tricky. If it feels like walking on a knife’s edge, it’s not worth your peace. Set boundaries if you must stay, and prioritize your emotional well-being.
Your future isn’t over—it’s in transition. Lean into this pause, rediscover what you want, and rebuild one step at a time. The island may not have been part of your original plan, but it’s part of your story now. Make it yours. Try and make some friends. There are online mom groups you can join on the Island. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I have been vacationing in Belize since I was a child. Over the years, I have stayed for longer periods of time, and a couple of years ago, I fell in love. After two years of back and forth, I spend six months in the U.S. working and then six months in Belize (I am able to do my job remotely). My partner and I have decided to get married and settle down here. However, we have different opinions on what married life should look like.
She comes from a traditional Belizean household where the husband is expected to support the family financially, while the wife handles all the household tasks. Even though she has a good job, she believes it will still be my responsibility to be the main provider. In contrast, I come from a background where relationships are typically 50/50. That’s how all my friends’ relationships seem to work, and I don’t see why I should be the sole provider.
I must admit that throughout our relationship, when I am in Belize, she does an excellent job of taking care of me and maintaining her apartment, even while working. So, I’m a bit confused about where these financial discussions are coming from. /s/ 50/50
Dear 50/50,
Ah, marriage—where two worlds collide and you’ve got to figure out how to make them work in one house. It sounds like you’re both coming at this with deeply rooted ideas about what a partnership should look like, and that’s okay. What matters is how you handle it together. Have the conversation—not to argue who’s right but to understand each other’s values. What does financial support mean to her? What does 50/50 look like to you? Maybe it’s about balance, not equality: you both contribute, just in different ways. The goal isn’t to change each other but to meet in the middle where both of you feel valued and respected. Marriage isn’t about keeping score—it’s about playing on the same team. Figure out your playbook now, and you’ll save yourselves a lot of heartache later. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
