Saturday, February 8, 2025

Doctor Love: Mid-life Love

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Dear Doctor Love,
I broke up with my ex-husband two years ago after being together for over 20 years. We’re both seniors now, and despite breaking up, I still reach out to him when I need something. We reconnect, I get frustrated, and then we stop talking again. I don’t love him anymore, but he insists he still loves me. I think I go back to him because he feels familiar and safe.
My dilemma is that I want to find real love again, but starting over feels overwhelming at my age. How can I break this cycle with my ex and open myself up to someone new? Is it possible to find meaningful companionship at this stage in life?/s/ Mid-life Love

Dear Mid-life Love,
Breaking a cycle that feels comfortable but no longer serves you takes courage. After 20 years together, it’s natural to feel drawn to your ex-husband’s familiarity, especially when facing the uncertainties of starting over. But if you want to find real love again, it’s time to establish boundaries. First, limit contact with your ex to necessary matters only, and lean on other resources or friends when you need help. Let him know kindly but firmly that while you appreciate his past role in your life, you need space to move forward. As for finding new love, it’s absolutely possible at any age. Start by focusing on self-discovery—pursue activities you love, join local social groups, or explore online communities for seniors. Genuine connections often arise when you’re living your best, most authentic life. True companionship doesn’t have an expiration date, and it’s never too late to open your heart. /s/ Dr. Love

Dear Doctor Love,
My husband and I have very different parenting styles. He is more relaxed, and I come from a stricter upbringing. Normally, this is the perfect combination to maintain balance in our home. But now we have a teenager and a preteen, and things are starting to get out of control. With the kids out of school for the holidays, my husband seems to allow them to be out of our home at all hours of the night. I have told them that they need to be under rules and should have a curfew regardless if its school night or not. He thinks I am over reacting and I should just let the kids have fun for this short break. How do I address this without causing a big issue? /s/ Parenting differences

Dear Parenting Differences,
Navigating different parenting styles is always tricky, especially during the teenage years. The holidays add an extra layer of chaos, but your concerns about curfews are valid. Start with a calm, respectful conversation with your husband. Say something like, “I understand you want them to enjoy their break, and I do too. But I worry about their safety and the habits they might pick up without some structure.” Suggest a middle ground—a later curfew than usual but one that still feels reasonable to both of you, like midnight.bFrame the rules as a way to teach your kids responsibility and ensure their safety, rather than imposing restrictions for the sake of it. Remind him that presenting a united front sets the best example for your children. Finding balance will make the holidays enjoyable for everyone. /s/ Dr. Love

Dear Doctor Love,
Can you recommend a good dinner spot on the island for Christmas? We are a family of four visiting for the first time. We started following The San Pedro Sun about six months ago when we started planning our trip, and we enjoyed reading your column. We are excited to be part of this feature! /s/ First time visiting

Dear First-Time Visiting,
Welcome to San Pedro! For a special Christmas dinner, consider Hidden Treasure Restaurant. It’s a warm, intimate spot with a festive vibe and a menu that combines local and international flavors. If you’re looking for stunning views, Rain Restaurant & Rooftop Terrace is another great choice. The food is delicious, and dining with a view of the Caribbean Sea is a memory your family won’t forget. For a taste of authentic Belizean culture, Elvi’s Kitchen is a classic. Their holiday specials often feature traditional dishes with a creative twist, making it a family favorite. Make sure to book early, as these restaurants fill up quickly during the holidays. Have a wonderful first Christmas on the island—it’s sure to be unforgettable! /s/ Dr. Love

Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]

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