Dear Dr. Love
I’m confused about my friendship with my best friend. We hang out almost every day and text daily. He often expresses how much he enjoys talking to me and says he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful, while insisting it’s not romantic. I genuinely care about him and want to talk to him about everything. My question is: Do I love him as more than a friend? Am I in love with him, or am I just overthinking it? How can I tell the difference between love and being in love? /s/ Confusing friendship
Dear Confusing Friendship,
Love is a strange thing, isn’t it? It sneaks up on you, gets tangled in your thoughts, and makes you question what’s real and what’s just your imagination running in circles. The way you describe your friendship, it’s clear you have something deep and meaningful. The question is whether it’s love in the way you think it might be.
The difference between loving someone and being in love with them comes down to what you want. If he told you tomorrow that he met someone else and was madly in love, how would you feel? Would you be happy for him, or would it feel like something inside you cracked? Do you find yourself hoping that one day he’ll change his mind and realize you were meant for each other? Do you ever catch yourself wanting to be closer, to cross that invisible line between friendship and something more?
You might be overthinking, or you might be seeing something your heart has known for a while. Either way, what matters most is what you do with this feeling. If it’s love, and it’s not being returned in the way you need, you have to ask yourself if this friendship is still healthy for you. If you’re content with things as they are, then cherish the closeness you have. If not, you owe it to yourself to be honest about what you want. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I started smoking cannabis occasionally in my mid-20s. Now, at 35 years old, I realize I’m addicted. I used to think cannabis wasn’t addictive, but my consumption worsened during the pandemic, and I now smoke all day, every day. I genuinely want to stop but haven’t succeeded despite numerous attempts. I am self-employed, and I feel this is even affecting my profession, not to mention my family hates it. I have sought professional help but nothing came by it. I recently visited a doctor abroad for another condition and happened to mention my addiction. My doctor was supportive and mentioned anti-nausea medications, but I’m skeptical about their effectiveness. Should I give it a try? /s/ Weed Head
Dear Weed Head,
You already know this isn’t just a habit anymore; it’s a cycle that’s running you instead of the other way around. That realization alone is important. People like to say cannabis isn’t addictive, but here you are, living proof that anything can take hold of you when it becomes an escape.
You’re asking if the anti-nausea medication will help. Maybe. It won’t solve the root of the problem, but if withdrawal symptoms have been part of why quitting feels impossible, then there’s no harm in trying. The real question isn’t about a pill. It’s about whether you’re ready to face what life looks like without leaning on this.
You’ve already seen the impact it’s having on your work and your relationships. You’ve already tried quitting and found yourself back where you started. That tells me you need more than willpower. You need a plan, a structure, something to fill the space that smoking has taken up in your life. Quitting something that has become a daily part of your routine isn’t just about stopping; it’s about replacing.
If you’re serious about breaking this pattern, give yourself the best chance. Try the medication. Find support, whether that’s therapy, a group, or even just someone who holds you accountable. Change won’t come overnight, but the fact that you’re here, asking this question, tells me that a part of you is already ready. You just need to listen to that part a little more. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I am facing a problem with both my mom and my mother-in-law: they spoil my child too much. I understand that grandparents like to give extra love to their grandchildren, but I feel they are going overboard. They buy my five-year-old everything from clothes to toys and even food. As a result, he has become unbearable at home. He throws tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants or when I don’t give him the food he desires. This behavior stems from the fact that his grandparents give him everything he asks for.
I have spoken to them and asked them to show some restraint, but my words have fallen on deaf ears. I am at my wits’ end; they won’t listen, and I don’t know how to handle my child. /s/ Grandmas are the problem
Dear Grandmas are the Problem,
Grandparents and spoiling go together like sugar and cake. The problem is, you’re the one left dealing with the sugar rush and the inevitable crash that follows. They get to be the heroes, and you’re stuck with the meltdowns and the sense of entitlement that comes with always getting what you want.
Since talking hasn’t worked, it’s time for action. You can’t control them, but you can control how much influence they have over your child’s expectations. Right now, your five-year-old has figured out that Grandma’s house is a free-for-all, and home has rules. Naturally, he prefers the free-for-all. That’s why he fights you when things don’t go his way.
This isn’t just about the grandparents; it’s about setting boundaries with your child. He needs to understand that home and Grandma’s house are not the same. Just because he gets his way there doesn’t mean that’s how life works everywhere. If the tantrums continue, then it might be time to limit how often he sees them until he learns the difference. If Grandma wants to spoil him, let her do it with experiences instead of things. Time spent together will last longer than any toy ever will.
As for the grandmothers, they might never fully listen, but they will understand when access is affected. If they want to keep being a big part of his life, they need to respect the structure you’re trying to build. This isn’t about taking away their fun—it’s about making sure your child grows up knowing that love isn’t measured in how many gifts you get. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
