Dear Dr. Love,
I need advice on telling my daughter that I don’t think her boyfriend is right for her? My 20-year-old daughter is currently dating a man a couple of years older than her that she met at her old job. They have been going steady for two years, but I have noticed some behavior I don’t quite like on his part. He often makes rude remarks about my daughter in front of her family and friends, calling her lazy, among other things. He also seems to party far too much. I don’t want my daughter to end up with a toxic partner and think she should leave him before things get any more serious. But I don’t know how to go about telling her this. /s/ My daughter’s boyfriend
Dear “My daughter’s boyfriend,”
You’re walking a tightrope here. Telling someone—especially your child—that the person they love isn’t good for them is like trying to pull a thorn out of their hand while they insist it’s a rose.
But I hear your concern. The rude remarks, the partying, the little ways he chips away at her—those are red flags, not quirks. Here’s the truth: you probably won’t change her mind by attacking him. What will make a difference is helping her see herself clearly.
Start by lifting her up. Tell her how amazing she is, what she deserves, how proud you are of her. Then, ask questions. “How do you feel when he talks to you like that?” “Does he bring out the best in you?” Make it a conversation, not a judgment. She needs to come to her own conclusion—your job is to gently hold the mirror.
And remember, love doesn’t always come with wisdom. But it learns—especially when it’s supported, not scolded.
With love, Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I have a childhood friend with whom I’ve always had a good relationship. We’ve stayed in touch despite going our separate ways. I left Belize to study abroad and moved to another country. He battled and overcame cancer while I was gone. Now, back in my hometown, we spend a lot of time together. He recently experienced intermittent blindness, but his sight returns after a few hours. When I asked about his doctor’s advice, he mentioned needing an MRI but refused to do it. I am guessing his family was already heavily financial burdened following his cancer treatment, and maybe this is the reason he doesn’t want to do it, as I know MRIs are expensive here. I want to offer to pay for him but don’t want to seem insensitive. How can I respect his decision when it could be life-threatening? We’ve discussed it, but the topic always shifts. I realize there’s not much I can do. What are your thoughts? /s/ Sick Friend
Dear “Sick Friend,”
Your hearts in the right place, and that matters. A lot. But so does your friend’s pride. When someone’s been through the trenches—cancer, financial strain, fear of the unknown—refusing help isn’t always stubbornness. Sometimes, it’s survival-mode dignity.
Here’s what I’d do: make your offer gently, and make it about love, not charity. “You’re important to me. If money is in the way of your health, let me help. No strings, no judgment—just care.” Let him know it’s not a debt, but a gift of friendship.
If he still resists, honor that—but keep the door open. Maybe talk to someone close to him who can help guide the conversation. You may not be able to change his decision, but you’ve already changed the story by showing up.
Keep showing up. That matters more than you know.
With respect, Dr. Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I am appalled by the behavior of grown adults toward children nowadays. A couple of days ago, I watched the live streaming of the Band Fest, and the comments about these children were outrageous. Adults comment on how these teens don’t even look like kids, that they look like grown adults, and say vulgar and sexual remarks. Do these ADULTS not realize that they are speaking about children, regardless of their outside appearance? Not only are they children, but they are also pursuing their passion. Instead of supporting them, they are being brought down with negative comments. Since when is this ok in society? /s/ Nasty adults
Dear “Nasty adults,”
You’re absolutely right to be outraged. When grown people forget their role—to protect, uplift, and guide children—and instead use their voices to tear them down, it shows just how lost they are.
Let’s call it what it is: toxic, inappropriate, and deeply harmful. These kids are out there sharing their passion, their hard work, and their joy. And to reduce them to their appearance, to make vulgar remarks? That’s not just disrespect—it’s abuse.
But remember your voice matters. Calling this out, holding people accountable, speaking up for those who can’t—that’s how change starts. Don’t let the noise drown out your truth. Keep speaking. Keep protecting. Keep honoring these kids the way they deserve.
We can’t always control the crowd, but we can choose to stand against it.
With respect, Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
