Wolfe’s Woofers – Pain

Sunday, September 9th, 2012

“Oh, quit whining, James. All you have is a little cut on your toe.”
“But it hurts. You don’t know what real pain is.”
“Of course I do,” the man’s wife said. “I know more about pain than you ever will.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I’ve given birth to four of your children,” she said. “They were all by natural childbirth. Believe me when I say I know more about pain than you ever will.”
“What about the time I got in the fight at the night club and the bouncer kicked me in the privates? That is as painful as giving birth.”
“I doubt it.”
I was sitting at a table at Estel’s with Charlie and Harry Longsworth while this conversation played out at the next table between a tourist and his wife.
They left and Charlie said, “I wonder if that’s true.”
“What?” I asked. “Whether having a baby is more painful than being kicked in the privates?”
“That’s a tough call,” I said. “The lady made a good point.”
“Nah,” Harry said. “She’s wrong. Being kicked in the junk is a lot more painful than having a baby.”
“Do you really think so?” Charlie asked.
“I can prove it.”
“How’s that?”
“I’ve never heard of a guy snuggling up to his wife in bed and saying, ‘Don’t you think it would be really nice for me to have another kick in the privates?'”


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