The San Pedro Sun

Wolfe’s Woofers: “Obscene Phone Call”

“Can you take care of Davin for me this evening?” Melody asked. “I want to go out for a while.”

“Sorry,” I told her. “I have to go to practice with the band and then I’m going to try to make it to a Neighborhood Watch meeting.”

“Can’t you take him with you?”

“No. I always work at night so I can never make the meetings. It’s important that I try to go to one of them.”

“You need to spend more time with Davin,” Melody said. “If you’re not going to spend time with your grandson why did you even have him?”

I can’t argue with that kind of logic. When Davin and I showed up at the meeting things were already well underway.

“Does anyone else have any new problems that we haven’t discussed?” Tim asked.

“I do,” Jo Castleberry said. “I been getting these danged phone calls.”

“What kind of phone calls?” Tim asked.

“Well, there’s a lot of heavy breathing and then he starts saying things.”

“Hey, that heavy breathing might be your own,” I said. “You’re the only person I know that smokes more than I do.”

“Ah, shut up,” Jo said. “I can still kick your skinny butt if I have to.”

“What kind of things does he say?” Tim asked.

“He says if I’ll meet him down at the corner he’ll show me that he has the biggest organ I have ever seen.”

“He must have a Yamaha or one of those big Casio keyboards,” I said.

“Leave me alone, Dennis Wolfe,” Jo said. “You know what kind of organ he’s talking about and it’s not something musical.”

“Well, excuse me,” I said. “All he’s doing is making anonymous calls. How is that a real problem?”

“The problem is that I’ve been down to that corner four times this week and he never shows up.”