The San Pedro Sun

Woofer: It’s in the Bible

“Hello, Mr. Wolfe,” Mark said.
He was going out of the door at Estel’s Restaurant as I was walking in.
“Hey, Mark,” I said. “Is the old man downstairs?”
“He just went up for a few minutes. He said if you came in to tell you to wait for him.”
I took a table next to a middle aged lady who had just been served her food. She bowed her head to say grace before her meal. Then she pulled out a Bible and began to read as she ate.
A tourist at the table on her other side snickered and asked, “You don’t really believe all that stuff in there do you?”
“Why, of course I do,” the lady said.
“You are going to tell me you believe the yarn about the guy parting the sea and everybody walked across on dry land?”
“You’re talking about Moses. I know that story is true because it’s in the Bible.”
“What about Jesus turning water into wine? How can anyone actually believe a tale like that?”
“People believe those stories because they are true. After all, young man, this is the Bible we are discussing.”
“So I suppose you believe it’s true about the man getting swallowed by the whale.”
“The story of Jonah? Why, certainly. It’s in the Bible.”
“Oh, yeah? How do you suppose he survived all of that time in the belly of a whale?”
“I’m not certain of that exactly,” the lady said, “but when I get to heaven I will make sure that I ask him.”
“What if he doesn’t make it to heaven?”
“Then you can ask him yourself.”