Wolfe’s Woofers: Cheap Hotel

Sunday, December 23rd, 2012

“Where to, boss?” the taxi driver asked.
“I just missed the last flight back to San Pedro,” I said. “I need to find a good hotel here in Corozal.”
“That’s not going to happen,” he told me. “All the good hotels are full because of the holidays. I took some people around two hours ago and the only room I found was a cheap little place on the way out of town.”
“Right now I’ll settle for anything,” I said.
He was right. The hotel was a dump but they had one room left. I stowed my luggage and went out for dinner. I stopped at a bar for a few drinks and ran into a guy I knew from Belize City. Before I knew it, it was midnight so I headed back to the hotel and went to bed. Across the hall a toilet flushed. Through the paper-thin walls I could clearly hear someone snoring in the room next to mine.
“Honey?” I heard a woman say.
The snoring stopped and a man said, “Leave me alone.”
“Please, just one more time.”
“You know I won’t be able to sleep afterwards.”
“I can’t sleep without it,” she said.
“Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?”
“Because lying next to you gets me hot.”
“You sure do get hot at the strangest times.”
“Why do you make me beg? If you really loved me I wouldn’t need to beg.”
“If you really loved me you would think of me sometimes instead of just yourself.”
“You don’t love me anymore.”
“Yes, I do but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do it again tonight.”
“Boo-hoo,” she softly cried.
“Great God almighty,” he said. “All right, I guess once more won’t kill me.”
Half a minute later she said, “What’s the matter?”
“I can’t find it,” he said. “Where’s my keychain? I need that little flashlight.”
“For God’s sake; feel for it,” she said.
Finally he said, “There! Are you satisfied?”
“Oh, yes!”
“Are you sure? Is it up far enough?”
“It is! It is!”
“All right,” he said. “Now, go to sleep and if you want that window open or shut again you can just do it yourself.”


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