Woofer: Lady’s Gloves
Sunday, June 9th, 2013
“Sure,” I said. “What are you sending?”
“Do you remember my friend Tina who used to live here? I know it sounds odd but I’m sending her a pair of panties. She used to buy them from one of the local stores and she can’t get the same brand in her small town in Texas. If she says these are the correct ones I’ll buy more and send them to her.”
On the way to town my friend Jon flagged me down as I passed his house.
“Hey, Dennis,” he said. “If you are going to town can you drop this package at the post office for me? I’m sending it to my girlfriend in Canada.”
“I’ll do it for you,” Melody said. “I’m mailing a package, too.”
Jon handed her a small package and a letter.
“If you will, get the postal employee to attach this letter to the package,” he said.
Three weeks later Melody came upstairs to talk to me.
“The strangest thing happened,” she said. “I just got a call from my friend Tina. She got her package but it had a pair of gloves in it instead of panties. I gave the guy at the post office instructions but he must have got my package mixed up with Jon’s”
“Oh, no!” Jon said, when I gave him the news. ”That explains why my girlfriend won’t answer my phone calls. Sending her panties instead of gloves is bad enough but that letter put the nails in my coffin with her.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s been complaining about the cold up there in Saskatchewan. That’s why I sent her the gloves.”
“I kept a copy of the letter that I sent with the package,” he said, as he fumbled in his backpack. “Here, read this.”
The letter said, “Dearest, I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it wasn’t for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones, but she wears short ones that are easier to get off. The lady who sold them to me tried yours on for me and she looked really great. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time because I’m sure other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away because they will be a little damp from wearing. Think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me when I come to visit. All my love.”
“P.S. The latest style is to wear them rolled down with a little fur showing.”
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