Wolfe’s Woofers: Head Nurse
Sunday, August 11th, 2013
“Thank you,” I said and turned to go down the hall.
In room 231 I found Dick recovering from his knee surgery. Over his face the doctor had fitted him with an oxygen mask.
“Well, how are you doing?” I asked.
“I think my knee is infected,” he mumbled through the mask.
“Oh, no!” I said. “An infection could be very dangerous.”
“I said that I’m doing as well as can be expected,” he said, pulling the mask aside..
“I thought you said your knee is infected.”
“It’s this mask,” he said. “It garbles up my speech but the doctor insists that I wear it until all the testing is done.”
As he put the mask back on a nurse walked in.
“Nurse,” he called. “Are my testicles black?”
“I beg your pardon sir,” the nurse said. “I wouldn’t know. I’m just here to bring you some cool water and change your pillow.”
“I need to find out” Dick insisted, loudly.
The head nurse walked into the room and asked, “What’s going on in here?”
“Don’t ask me,” the other nurse said, “I’m just here with water and a fresh pillow.”
“Are my testicles black?” Dick asked again.
The head nurse calmly walked over to the bed and pulled Dicks pajama bottoms down. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with them,” she said.
Dick ripped the mask off his face.
“I don’t know what you people think I’m saying,” he said, “but I want to know if my test results are back.”
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