Wolfe’s Woofer: Ten Pounds
Sunday, March 9th, 2014
I got up from the table at Estel’s Restaurant and Charlie asked, “What’s the big rush today? You’ve only had one cup of coffee.”
“I have to go to the doctor’s office for a quick checkup,” I told him. “I’ll be back shortly.”
As I sat in the waiting room at the doctor’s office a man came in with a newborn baby. The baby was crying loudly and nonstop.
When the nurse came out and said, “Next,” I told him to go ahead of me. I never could stand to hear a baby cry. The door to the examination room was not completely closed and the doctor had to speak loudly over the crying of the baby.
“What’s the problem?” he asked the father.
“I don’t know,” the man said. “He won’t stop crying.”
“Where is the baby’s mother?”
“She left this morning to go to the hospital in Belize City for some blood tests. I told her I could take care of Junior while she’s gone. I was sure wrong about that.”
“When did the baby start crying?”
“It started right after my wife left this morning. I thought he was hungry so I fixed him a bottle. He drank it and as soon as it was finished he started crying again. About noon I fixed another bottle for him but he still didn’t stop crying so I brought him here to you.”
“Well, let’s take a look,” the doctor said.
“Oh, my,” he said, a moment later. “This diaper is running over. There must be three pounds of nasty stuff in here. When did you change it last?”
“I didn’t change it at all,” the father said. “I didn’t think it was full yet.”
“Why, man!” the doctor said, “This diaper is more than full. What makes you think it’s not?”
The father said, “But on the side of the diaper package it says it’s good for up to ten pounds.”
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