Wolfe’s Woofer: Walking On Water
Sunday, May 3rd, 2015
“I have no complaints about my kids,” I said. “They turned out to be a lot smarter than I ever thought they were.”
“That boy of mine is dumb as a rock,” George said. “I can’t see any hope for him.”
“Oh, he’s probably not that bad.”
“Oh, yeah? I bought him a paddleboard for his birthday today. He’s probably going to take it out and drown himself.”
At just that time George’s son, Ronny, came walking slowly up the street. He was wet and looked exhausted.
“Where is the board?” George asked.
“I lost it.”
“Lost it? How can you lose a paddleboard?”
“Today’s my sixteenth birthday,” Ronnie said. “I paddled the board out to the reef to celebrate.”
“O.K., but how did you lose the board?”
“I decided to walk on the water all the way back to the beach. When I stepped off the board I went down and had to swim. The board got taken by the waves.”
“You were going to walk on the water back to land?”
“But what makes you think you could do that?” George asked.
“Mom said that you and Grandpa and even my Great Grandpa all celebrated your sixteenth birthday by walking across a lake that was half a mile wide. I wanted to walk on the water, too. Why didn’t it work?”
“Because your Great Grandpa, your Grandpa and I were all born in Canada in the dead of winter when the lakes were frozen, you moron. We didn’t move to Belize until you were six years old.”
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