Wolfe’s Woofer: Heavy Sleeper
Sunday, June 14th, 2015
“Captain, do you mind if I go on board and take a nap before the boat leaves?” I asked.
The captain of the water taxi to Belize City said, “No problem. We have forty-five minutes before the boat leaves and we already have one guy taking a nap inside. It must have been a real party night in San Pedro last night.”
“The first night of Lobster Fest is always rough on everybody,” I told him.
Before I dropped off to sleep another bleary-eyed, hung over partier showed up.
“Captain, I’ve been up all night,” he said. “I’m dying to sleep a little.”
“Sure. Have a seat next to this guy.”
The captain pointed to the heavy sleeper across the aisle from me.
“Maybe you can help me,” the man said to the captain. “I’m only going to Caye Caulker. Can you make sure I get off there?”
“My crew can take care of it,” the captain said.
The man peeled forty dollars off of a roll of bills and gave it to the captain.
“This is for your crew if they make sure I land in Caye Caulker,” he said. “I have an important business meeting and I can’t afford to be late.”
“For forty dollars they will make absolutely certain you get off this boat in Caye Caulker.”
I drifted off to sleep and woke up to the sound of angry shouting.
“What in hell is going on? We’re pulling in to Belize City and you were supposed to make sure I got off the boat in Caye Caulker!”
“I’m sorry sir,” the captain said. “I don’t know how this happened.”
I turned to the guy sitting next to me.
I said, “He sure looks angry.”
“Yeah, but he’s not half as angry as that guy they put off in Caye Caulker.”
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