Wolfe’s Woofer: Sunday Visitors

Sunday, June 28th, 2015

Sherry came out of the kitchen saying, “What is it? What’s going on?”
“I’m still in my underwear,” I said. “Can you see who’s knocking at the door?”
She said. “It’s probably those church people again.”
“It is the church people,” she said, when she came back. “They’re the only ones who would come knocking at eight o’clock on Sunday morning when we’re trying to sleep.”
“What did you say to them?”
“I told them that we are trying to sleep and asked them to please go away.”
That was last Sunday. This Sunday at eight o’clock they knocked on the door again.
“I’m going to tell them that if they come around here at 8 a.m. again I’ll put my dog on them,” Sherry said.
“No. Don’t do that,” I told her. “Let me put on a shirt and get them to come in. If we talk to them and have coffee with them maybe they won’t bother us anymore.”
When I opened the door I welcomed the two men with a smile.
I said, “Come in friends and join us.”
They took a seat on the sofa.
“Would you like something to drink?” I asked. “Coffee? Tea?”
“Oh, no!” one of them said, sounding horrified. “We don’t drink caffeine.”
“How about a beer? There’s no caffeine in beer.”
They looked even more horrified. We sat there and looked at each other for a bit.
“Well, gentlemen,” I said, “If we’re not going to have a drink what do we do?”
They looked at each other blankly for a moment. Then one of them said, “To be honest sir, we don’t know. We never got this far before.”


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