Wolfe’s Woofer: Faith Healing

Sunday, July 12th, 2015

Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“. . . and in the Mid-East there is tension in Syria as . . .”
“Click.”
“. . . and tonight on Ice Road Truckers Sam Hebert has mechanical problems . . .”
“Click.”
“Quit flipping through the channels and leave the remote alone,” Sherry said.
“I’m trying to find something interesting to watch,” I told her. “It’s amazing that with over a hundred channels there is nothing on them worth watching on Sunday night.”
“Some Ancient Alien theorists believe that. . .”
“Click.”
A TV preacher said, “We received a letter and a donation this week from Martha Goodwin of Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. She had arthritis in her elbow for years. Last week during the healing portion of our show she put her elbow on the TV. I prayed for her and she was healed.”
“All right, you can change the channel now,” Sherry said.
“Wait a minute. I want to hear this.”
“People, if your faith is strong you can be healed,” the preacher said.
“Change that channel,” Sherry said.
I ignored her as the preacher said, “No matter what your sickness, touch the ailing part of your body to the television and I will see that you are healed.”
A loud truck drove by the house and of course the remote had disappeared somewhere into that black hole where remotes disappear to. When I leaped out of bed to go change the volume by hand I tripped over a shoe and the bed post smacked me right between the legs. Clutching myself in agony I hobbled toward the TV.
“Don’t even try it,” Sherry said. “The man said he could heal the sick, not raise the dead.”

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