The San Pedro Sun

Wolfe’s Woofer: Birthday Gift

“What’s for dinner?”
“I don’t know,” Sherry said. “What are you cooking?”
“Me?” I asked. “You know I don’t cook.”
“Well, I’m not cooking either until you get that sink drain fixed. I’m tired of keeping a bucket under the sink to catch the drip.”
“You know as well as I do that if I tell you I’m going to fix something it will get fixed,” I said. “There’s no need to remind me about it every six months. Seriously, what’s for dinner?”
Half an hour later I was eating tacos at my favorite taco stand. My friend Mario took a seat at the picnic table and said, “Hello, Mr. Dennis. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing all right,” I said. “You don’t look so good though. You have scratches all over your face and it looks like you’re missing some chunks of hair.”
“Yeah, my arm is in a sling, too,” Mario said.
“You must have been in one heck of a fight.”
“It’s not a real fight if it’s someone you can’t hit back.”
“Your wife?” I asked.
“No. My suegra. My mother-in-law. It was about her birthday last week.”
“What happened on her birthday?”
“The big fight. I didn’t buy her a gift so I think that’s why she was so mad.”
“How did it happen?”
“Last year I bought her a cemetery plot over in Cayo. It’s not what she wanted but I paid a lot of money to get it so she didn’t say anything bad.”
“You didn’t get her anything this year?”
“No. She asked me why I didn’t get her a present and I said it is because she still hasn’t used the gift I bought her last year.”