Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: The Winner


“Those workers have worked three days on the new septic tank and haven’t even finished digging the hole,” Sherry said. “Your head worker, Mario, is one of the laziest people on earth and you know it. Before they leave you tell Mario on no uncertain terms that I want that septic tank done by Friday.”
“Friday, Mr. Dennis?” Mario asked, when I gave him the news. “There’s only four of us working. We would need four more people to do it that fast.”
“You hire four more people starting tomorrow morning,” I told him. “I want that septic tank done now.”
The next day I took Sherry downtown for lunch and some shopping. We got back around 1:30 and from the street I could see that very little progress had been made. I walked around back and found all eight workers laying in the shade taking siesta.
“What the hell’s going on here?” I asked.
“We on lunch break, Mr. Dennis,” Mario said.
“Lunch break was over half an hour ago,” I told him. “You men are just the laziest bunch of workers I’ve ever seen. I’d like to know which one of you is the laziest. I’ll give $10 to find out which one of you is.”
When I pulled out a ten-dollar bill the workers turned and pointed at Mario.
“Well, Mario, here’s your money” I said. “I guess you’re the winner but how do I know for sure that you’re the laziest?”
“Mr. Dennis,” Mario said, “Can you put that money in my pocket for me?”

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