Wolfe’s Woofer: Twick or Tweet

Sunday, November 19th, 2017

“Make sure you pick up a bag of Halloween candy at the store,” Sherry said.
“Of course, I’ll get Halloween candy. I love that stuff. I might get some candy corn if they have any of it at Super Buy.”
“Remember, this isn’t for you. This is for the kids on Halloween.”
“What? I don’t give out candy on Halloween.”
“Ah, you’re just a grumpy old man.”
“No, I’m not. When they knock on the door it makes the dog bark, it lets all of the air conditioning out and I have to give away my candy. I have good reason not to like Halloween.”
On Halloween night I turned all the lights off outside and drew the curtains so no one would know we were home. As I sat in my office I heard a light tapping on the door.
“Who the hell is it!” I growled, snatching open the door.
I saw no one when I looked around. Then I looked down.
“Twick or tweet.”
I was looking into the face of an angel about four years old. She had a halo and even wings on her costume.
As she smiled up at me she opened her bag and once again said, “Twick or tweet.”
My heart melted. How could I have been mean enough to not give Halloween treats to the kids all of these years? Especially to ones with big eyes and dimples like this one.
“Wait right here,” I told her. “I’ll go get your treat.”
I had finished off the Halloween candy two days ago but I did have a big beautiful apple I was saving for a special occasion. I shined it up and brought it to the door.
“Open your little bag,” I said.
She smiled and held it out for me to drop the apple into. She looked inside the bag and looked back up. Her face had grown hard and her eyes were ice cold.
“You stupid old fart!” she said. “You broke my damn cookie!”

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