Wolfe’s Woofer: Big Magic

Sunday, January 21st, 2018

“I’m ready to do some exploring,” I told Dave. “Maybe I’ll discover a Maya ruin while I’m out walking.”
“You be careful in that jungle. It can get dangerous in a hurry. Besides that, there are some native people over in Mexico that are completely uncivilized. If you’re not a member of their tribe then you are considered the enemy.”
I was visiting my friend Dave, whose ranch near La Union is right at the border of Mexico and Belize. I was still chuckling at his warnings when I suddenly found myself surrounded by dozens of short little men with spears and bows and arrows. I was in trouble.
“Me. Friend,” I said, holding up two fingers in what I thought was the universal sign for peace.
Fifty right hands immediately fired back at me with their middle finger, which I know is not the universal signal for peace. Their leader, a muscular little guy with yellow and red lines painted on his face, gave a signal and they reached out to grab me.
Their chief signaled for us to go and we began walking through the jungle. After a couple of hours, we stopped and several of the men went out and rounded up some dry wood for a cooking fire. One of the men pulled out a container that had hot coals. He began placing it around the pile of wood to light it up. I stopped him.
“Wait!” I told the group. “I have big magic.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a box of Toucan matches.
“I make fire,” I said, as I struck it on the box.
When the match lit, I touched it to the dry wood and it caught fire. The group of natives jumped back, then knelt down saying, “Oooh!” as the flames blazed up.
“We are letting you go,” their leader said to me, in perfect English.
“Thank you,” I said. “I told you I have big magic.”
“Indeed, you do. Anyone who can start a fire with the first match from a Toucan box must have some really big magic.”

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