Friday, July 12, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofer: Eight Ball


“It looks like Vernon’s going to be late again,” Mario said.
“Oh, he’s usually only ten or fifteen minutes late,” I told him. “He makes up for it by being an incredible pool player.”
“I don’t mind so much him being late,” Juan said. “What I mind is that he beats us nearly every time shooting either lefthanded or righthanded.”
Every Saturday evening at six o’clock I meet Mario, Juan and Vernon at the bar for our weekly Eight Ball challenge. We went ahead and started without Vernon but he wandered in about fifteen minutes later.
“Sorry, I’m late, guys,” he said. “What did I miss?”
“So far, I beat Juan on the first rack,” I said. “but now it looks like Mario’s going to beat me.”
After Mario sunk the Eight to beat me, he took on Vernon, who easily beat him shooting lefthanded.
“Vernon, how you do that?” Juan asked. “It ain’t right that a man can be able to shoot pool with either hand.”
“It’s right for me,” Vernon told him. “I shoot a little bit better lefthanded because I’m naturally a lefty but I can use either one pretty easy.”
“How do you decide which hand to use?’ I asked.
“My wife decides that.”
“What do you mean?”
“On Saturdays me and the old lady take a siesta at five o’clock. When I wake up I check to see if she’s sleeping on her left side or her right side. If she’s on her right side that means I use the right hand to shoot pool and if she’s on her left side it means I use the left hand.”
“What does it mean if she’s sleeping on her back?” Mario asked.
“If she’s sleeping on her back it means I’m going to be late for Eight Ball.”

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