Wolfe’s Woofers: Just One of the Guys

Saturday, July 7th, 2018


When Andrew and I walked into the noisy, crowded Belize City bar things got very quiet. The Happy Hour partiers stopped drinking and stared at him.
“What’s wrong with these people?” he asked me. “Haven’t they ever seen a vicar?”
Andrew is a vicar of the Presbyterian Church back in the U.S. He never goes anywhere without wearing his clerical collar.
“They probably think you’re a priest,” I told him. “They’ll get used to it.”
Sure enough, as we talked the crowd went back to partying and drinking. Every once in a while, the lights would flicker out and then the crowd would cheer loudly. When a waiter came over Andrew asked, “Hey, where is the bathroom?”
The waiter said, “It’s at the end of that far wall but I need to warn you, Reverend. There is a life-sized statue of a naked woman in the Men’s room. She does have a fig leaf over her private parts but I felt I should warn you.”
“I’m fine with it,” Andrew said.
A few minutes later the lights flickered out and as Andrew walked back to our table the crowd clapped and cheered for him. After he sat down he called the waiter over.
“Why did they all applaud because I went to the toilet?” he asked.
“They applauded because now they know you’re one of us. Your next drink is on the house.”
“I don’t understand.”
“The fig leaf on the statue is attached to a switch. When the fig leaf is lifted, the lights go out.”


 

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