The San Pedro Sun

Wolfe’s Woofer: Scary Sounds

We took a break from shooting pool and Mario called, “Hey, Juney! Come have a drink.”
When Juney Cho sat down with us Mario asked, “Where you been, man? We ain’t seen you in months.”
“I been hiding out,” Juney said.
“Hiding out from what?”
“I heard the scariest sound in the world. I was lucky to get away from it and I been hiding so I don’t hear it again.”
“That’s crazy,” Mario said. “You don’t have to be scared from sounds.”
“They do if they hear what I heard. What’s the scariest sound you ever heard?”
Mario said, “Me and Vernon was hunting for deer up on the north end of the island and we were sleeping under a tarp that we made into a tent. Sometime in the middle of the night we hear a mighty scream and it was a jaguar right outside the tent. You never heard a scarier sound in your life.”
“I’ve heard scarier,” Juney said. “How about you, Mr. Dennis?”
“I once heard an airplane crash right outside my house. The sound was awful.”
“Not even close,” Juney said. “I was seeing this married lady a few months back and her husband came home early. I dove out the window naked but he caught me.”
“He grabbed your foot?” Mario asked.
“No. He got my private parts. I heard these awful screams and then I noticed it was me doing the screaming.”
“And those screams are what you call the scariest sound?”
“Oh, no!” Juney said. “I’ll tell you what the scariest sound in the world is. Have you ever heard somebody open a pocket knife—with their teeth?”