The San Pedro Sun

Wolfe’s Woofer: Inventor

“8-Ball in the corner pocket,” Vernon said.
He took a nice, easy shot and won another five dollars from me.
“I’m here on time for a change,” Linsford said, when he walked in. “Where’s Mario and Juan?”
Juan finally showed up and Mario came in soon after, which meant that all of the members of the Nosénada Club were ready for our Wednesday Night 8-Ball tournament. The club is made up of Mario, me, Juan, Vernon and Linsford, when his wife lets him out of the house.
Mario named our club because when a wife calls to ask about her husband, each member has to answer, “No sé nada,” or, in English, “I don’t know anything.”
“Mario, why you so late tonight?” Vernon asked. “You usually the first one here.”
“We had a special dinner for my nephew, Ricky, who’s visiting from the U.S.”
“He’s the one supposed to be a genius or something, isn’t he?” Juan asked.
“Yeah. He’s the one supposed to make the family rich with one of his great inventions. He came up with a new video camera but it was just when everybody quit using them and got phones with video cameras.”
“Didn’t he invent diet water?” Vernon asked.
“Yes, but that didn’t go over very big. This thing he just invented won’t make any money, either. It’s the world’s most powerful solvent. He made a rust remover that won’t dissolve just rust—it dissolves anything.”
“Wow!” I said. “That sounds like a very handy thing to have. Why won’t it make money?”
“Because he can’t figure out anything to keep it in.”