Wolfe’s Woofer: What Did You Do Today?

Sunday, September 8th, 2019

I said, “I don’t know, Vernon, Yolanda might not like the idea of me showing up at your house for dinner without telling her ahead of time.”
“She won’t mind—honest, she won’t,” Vernon said. “She don’t do nothing all day but lay around the house and take care of the two babies.”
At Vernon’s we parked in the drive and Vernon said, “Come on. We’ll go through the kitchen.”
When the kitchen door shut Vernon said, “Ooh, what the devil happened here?”
The kitchen table still had the remains of lunch scattered on it. The sink was full of dirty dishes and a bag of dogfood was spilled all over the floor. Three-year-old Vernon Junior was standing in the middle of the kitchen floor dumping a bag of flour over his baby sister’s head.
“Yolanda!” Vernon called as we made our way into the living room.
Yolanda was stretched out on the couch watching a novella on the television. On the table beside her were three empty soft drink bottles and several empty potato chip bags. The floor was littered with children’s toys.
“Hi, Mr. Dennis. Hi, Vernon, mi amor,” she said. “How did it go at work today?”
“Yolanda!” Vernon said. “What in the world did you do today?”
Yolanda said, “Vernon, you know how every day you come home and ask me what I did today?”
“Yeah.”
“I try to tell you what I did but you don’t even listen to me. Do you?”
“Uh. I guess not.”
“You know that stuff you don’t listen to?
“Yeah.”
“Well, today I didn’t do it.”

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