Wolfe’s Woofer: Tight Skirt
Sunday, January 5th, 2020
“Hey, Mr. Dennis.”
I turned around to see the lovely Tanya, who tends bar at one of Ambergris Caye’s best resorts.
“Hi, Tanya,” I said. “You’re dressed mighty fine for a bus trip.”
Tanya and I were standing in a tightly crowded line for the bus from Belmopan to Belize City.
“I had to go to a wedding rehearsal,” she said. “I’m gonna’ look my best when I’m around a bunch of other bridesmaids.”
As I started to board the bus she called, “Save me a seat.”
I found a seat and after a while she made her way down the aisle. She did not look happy.
“Are you O.K.?” I asked.
“Yes—I’m just embarrassed. I went to step up on the bus but I couldn’t lift my leg because my skirt was so tight. Finally, I reached around and unzipped it a little bit.”
“Did that solve the problem?”
“No. I still couldn’t reach the bus step so I reached around and unzipped it some more. It still wasn’t enough so I tried it again.”
“Let me guess,” I said. “Did you accidentally unzip it all the way?”
“No, but when I tried again the man behind me grabbed my butt and pushed me up onto the step. I was very angry and I said, ‘What do you think you’re doing, touching me when I don’t even know you?’”
“What did he say?”
“He said, ‘Miss, after you unzipped my pants three times, I figured you must know me very well.’”
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