Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofers: Extravagance


“6-ball in the side pocket,” Vernon called, sinking the ball for an easy score.

While Vernon ran the pool table the other members of the Nosenada Social Club listened to Moses bitching about his wife, Tysha.

“I’m thinking about getting divorced,” he said.

“You crazy,” Mario told him. “You only been married six months. What’s wrong with Tysha?”

“Boss,” he said to me. “What’s that big word for when people want to spend lots of money they don’t have?”

“I think the word you’re looking for is extravagance,” I said.

“That’s it. She the most ‘stravagant woman I ever see,” Moses said. “Always wanting money.”

Vernon said, “Moses, women just naturally likes to spend money. I give the envelope to Yolanda every week and she gives me beer money. That’s the easy way.”

“Not all of them are like that,” Linsford said. “My Maria counts every penny with me and takes care of all our bills.”

Moses said, “With Tysha, it’s just money, money, money.”

“What about you, boss?” Mario asked me. “You handle the money in your house?”

“Sherry does it all,” I said. “She’s way smarter than I am about those kinds of things.”

“I’m saying Tysha ain’t like that,” Moses said. “In the six months we been married she’s after me all the time. Dollar for this, five dollars for that, forty dollars here and twenty there. She never lets up.”

“What does she do with all of that money?” I asked.

Moses said, “I don’t know. I never give her none, yet.”

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