Dear Doctor,
My fiancé is planning his bachelor party and it is making me very uneasy. He told me about the last bachelor party he went to and I thought that the things that went on were absolutely disgusting. Last week I told him that I want his party to be one where any of our friends, male or female can go. We have been in one long fight since then. He says that his party will be different from the others. There won’t be any wild strippers or anything like that going on. No matter what I say, he insists that the party will be for men only. Why is he doing this? What is so important about a bachelor party anyway?
/s/ Maybe a Bride to Be
Dear Bride,
It is true that some bachelor parties get out of hand but your best bet here is to just back off. There are hundreds of years of tradition behind bachelor parties and the tradition is men only.
You fiancé may start thinking he made a mistake by telling you about the other bachelor party he went to. Because he told you, you decided he can’t have a men-only bachelor party with his friends. Right about now he should be getting a message that you don’t trust him and that maybe he shouldn’t tell you everything. That’s not a good way to start a marriage.
Don’t jump the gun. If his party turns into a bacchanalia you will be sure to hear about it. Then you can give him hell. Until then, trust his judgment.
