Dear Dr. Love,
My 12-year-old daughter will be graduating from primary school this coming year 2026. She says she wants to go to a high school in Belize City with more opportunities. I understand her reasons, but the city is very different from island life, and I’m scared she’s not ready for that kind of independence. We do have family there, but she would still be on her own for the most part as they work pretty much all day. The other option is for her to travel daily. She insists it’s for her future and accuses me of “holding her back.” How do I balance protecting her with supporting her dreams? /s/ Worried Island Mom
Dear Worried Island Mom,
You’re standing in that bittersweet place where your child starts dreaming bigger than the borders of your comfort. It’s normal to feel torn, half of you wants to wrap her in bubble wrap, the other half wants to let her run and bloom. That tug-of-war in your chest? That’s what good mothers feel.
Your daughter isn’t wrong for wanting more. At twelve, her world is opening up, and she’s reaching for what she thinks will shape her future. But growing up in Belize City and growing up on the island are two completely different stories, and your fear isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.
The answer isn’t “yes” or “no.” It’s a conversation. Real, heart-on-the-table conversation. Sit with her and say, “I’m not trying to stop your dreams, I’m trying to understand them.” Let her explain why the city feels like the next step. And then share your fears without scolding or shutting her down.
When you meet her halfway, you’ll find a middle ground. Maybe she goes but with structure, family involvement, safety rules, and regular check-ins. Maybe she commutes until she proves she’s ready. Maybe she needs one more year of island foundation before she leaps.
You’re not holding her back. You’re holding her steady.
And one day, she will thank you for that. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Dr. Love,
I recently started working at a popular resort in San Pedro as a Guest Relations Officer, and my boyfriend has suddenly become jealous of every guest I interact with. He says my job is “too social” and that men will flirt with me all day. I love my job and I’m good at it, but he keeps pressuring me to quit and find something “less public.” I don’t want to throw away a good career, but I also don’t want to lose my relationship. How do I get him to understand that my job isn’t a threat? /s/ Jealous of my Work
Dear Jealous of My Work,
It’s wild how love can twist itself into fear when someone isn’t secure in who they are. Your boyfriend isn’t really worried about your job; he’s worried about losing you, but instead of saying that out loud, he’s trying to control the situation.
Listen, your job is not the villain in this story. It brings you joy, pride, and stability. You shouldn’t have to dim your light or shrink your world so someone else can feel tall.
Talk to him gently, from a place of calm strength. Let him know you understand his feelings, but you’re not willing to give up your opportunities because of insecurities he hasn’t yet sorted out. Tell him the truth: “I chose this job because it makes me happy, and I chose you because I want us to grow, not shrink.”
If he loves you in a healthy way, he’ll hear you. He’ll adjust. He’ll grow.
If he doesn’t… well, then the job was never the real threat.
A partner who truly sees you will want you to shine, not disappear. /s/ Dr. Love
Dear Dr. Love,
I live in what you would call a larger apartment complex on the island. It’s a nice place to live where everyone is friendly and neighbourly. However, I have one problem, they borrow MY THINGS without even ASKING. Each of the units has a small little veranda space in the front. I leave my cooler, my bike, and other stuff there once in a while. I notice it’s gone. When I start asking around, I get the “Oh, I borrowed it, I will take it back in a while,” yet somehow it never finds its way back. I don’t want to create tension because we all live close and see each other daily, but I’m tired of replacing things that walk away. How can I set boundaries? /s/ Borrowing without consent
Dear Borrowing Without Consent,
Island living is beautiful, but it comes with that funny culture where “borrowing” sometimes looks a lot like “taking without permission.” People get so comfortable, they forget that your belongings are not part of the community inventory.
But here’s the thing you don’t need to get angry to set a boundary. You just need to be clear.
Next time someone returns something late, or not at all, speak calmly and honestly: “I’m happy to share when I can, but please ask me first. And I need things returned when you say you’ll return them.” No attitude, no drama just truth.
Most people aren’t intentionally disrespecting you; they’re just used to a relaxed way of living. Once they hear your boundary, they usually adjust.
And if a few don’t, it’s okay to bring your things inside or secure them. Not because you’re being petty, but because peace of mind is worth more than a cooler.
Setting boundaries isn’t unkind. It’s how you teach people how to treat you.
And you, my friend, deserve to be treated with respect even by the neighbor who never brings things back on time. /s/ Dr. Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
