Friday, March 29, 2024

Wolfe’s Woofers: Take A Guess

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Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“Raul, how are you doing?”

“Dennis, is that really you? What are you doing over here in Belmopan?”

“I was doing some business with the Lands Department,” I told him. “It’s really good to see you again.”

“I really miss living on the island,” Raul said. “Life here in the Capital is boring plus I miss the ocean. There’s no good fishing and swimming here.”

“You can come out and visit us,” I said. “It was good to see you, Raul but I have to go catch that bus back to Belize City.”

“I’m getting ready to drive to the city in my car,” he said. “Why don’t you ride with me?”

“Sure.”

“I have to make one stop before we go,” he said. “My old ma is in a nursing home here and I check on her three times a week. We’ll just stop by and say hello.”

At the nursing home Raul’s mother said, “Boy, the mens in this place is the sorriest I ever seen.”

“What are you talking about, Ma?”

“They don’t know a good-looking hot woman even if she pinches they butt. And I do, too. I pinches them.”

“Ma, you’re seventy-two years old,” Raul said, as he blushed with embarrassment. “You shouldn’t even be thinking about those kinds of things.”

“I may be seventy-two but I ain’t dead, yet,” she said, “I want me a man of my own.”

As we left the nursing home, the oldsters were assembling in the day room for lunch. We heard Raul’s Ma yell, “First man in this room guess what I got in me hand get the best loving he ever got in his life tonight!”

An old man in back yelled out, “Is it a elephant?”

“Close enough!”

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