Woofer: Customer Assistance

Monday, September 2nd, 2013

Dennis-Wolfe-Wolfes-Woofers“I’ll never go in a Walmart again in my life,” Charlie said. “Keep on walking fast until we get to the car.”
“Neither will I,” I told him. “That was about the most embarrassing moment in my entire life. People are still staring at us.”
A few minutes earlier we were happy to be in the big department store in Atlanta, Georgia. Charlie and I are on a nine day summer road trip to the US.
“I want to buy some pants,” Charlie said.
“Price check in home appliances,” the intercom blared out. “We have a customer by the refrigerators who needs assistance.”
“I forgot how under staffed these stores are,” I said. “They supposedly have a salesperson for each department but you can never find one.”
“Excuse me, Miss,” Charlie said to a woman in a Walmart uniform. “Do these pants come in a tan color?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “I work in house wares. Hold on a second.”
She reached for the in-house telephone..
“Customer needs assistance in men’s wear,” she said into the intercom. “Customer in men’s pants needs assistance.”
“Well, at least she described me right,” Charlie told me. “I am wearing men’s pants.”
As we passed the sports department I spotted a display of footballs.
“Let me check this out,” I said. “I told Davin I would get him a football.”
“Excuse me, Miss,” I said to a passing clerk. “This football doesn’t have a price on it. Can you tell me how much it is?”
The pretty little blonde clerk reached for the phone and said, “I work in electronics. Just a moment.”
“I have a customer by the balls in the sports department,” she announced. “Customer assistance . . .”
That’s when I got so nervous that I knocked an aquarium over.
“Cleanup in the sports department,” she said into the intercom.
Charlie said, “I’m out of here.”


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