Dear Dr. Love,
I recently moved back to Belize after spending several years abroad, and I’m struggling more than I expected. While it feels good to be home, I often feel like I don’t quite fit in anymore. Friends and even family tell me I’ve “changed,” and sometimes those comments make me feel like an outsider in my own country. I notice that my way of thinking, my habits, and even my expectations are different now, which makes reconnecting harder than I thought it would be.
At times, I feel caught between two worlds. Abroad, I longed for home, but now that I’m back, I miss the independence and lifestyle I became used to. I want to reconnect with my roots, rebuild relationships, and feel comfortable here again, but I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not or undo the personal growth I gained while away. How do I honor where I come from while still embracing who I’ve become? /s/ Where is home?
Where is home,
You didn’t come back the same person. Of course you didn’t. Anyone who leaves, lives, learns, and survives elsewhere returns different. That’s not a flaw – that’s evidence you were paying attention.
When people say “you’ve changed,” what they often mean is “you’re not fitting into the old box we kept for you.” That box is comfortable for them, not for you. And trying to squeeze back into it will only make you feel smaller and resentful.
You don’t need to erase what you picked up abroad to belong here again. Belize doesn’t need a watered-down version of you. It needs the whole thing accent, habits, new boundaries and all. Some people will adjust. Some won’t. That’s not your job to fix.
Home isn’t about going backwards. It’s about letting your roots and your growth exist at the same time, even if it feels messy for a while. Home is where you make it. /s/ Doctor Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I’ve been seriously thinking about starting my own small business in San Pedro, but fear and self-doubt keep holding me back. I have ideas I believe in and people who say they support me, yet I still hesitate to take the leap. Part of me worries about finances and whether the timing is right, especially in a small island economy where everyone knows everyone.
What makes it harder is the mixed feedback I receive. Some people encourage me quietly, while others openly question my plans or remind me of who tried before and failed. At times, it feels like a “crab in the bucket” situation, where instead of lifting each other up, people pull you back with doubt, criticism, or subtle discouragement. It makes me second-guess whether my hesitation is realistic caution or fear influenced by outside voices.
I don’t want to stay stuck in a comfort zone and later regret not trying, but I also don’t want to make a reckless decision. How do you know when it’s truly time to take a risk and believe in yourself, especially when the environment around you doesn’t always feel supportive? /s/ Start Up
Dear Start Up,
San Pedro has a funny way of clapping for you with one hand and side-eyeing you with the other.
The thing is people love to remind you who failed because it makes them feel safer staying where they are. Most of the loud doubt you hear isn’t wisdom -it’s fear wearing a confident voice.
Being ready doesn’t mean you’re fearless. It means you’ve thought it through enough that if it doesn’t work, you won’t be destroyed. You don’t need to jump off the dock blindfolded. You just need to step off knowing how deep the water is.
If the idea keeps coming back to you -even after the doubt, even after the warnings – that’s usually a sign it’s yours to try. Not forever. Just to try.
The island will talk whether you move or not. Might as well give them something interesting. /s/ Doctor Love
Dear Doctor Love,
I made San Pedro by home over two decades ago, and it feels like everyone knows everyone’s business. I recently started seeing someone, but rumors are already spreading that aren’t true. How do I protect my relationship without constantly having to explain myself to the whole island? /s/ Not so private life
Not so private,
If you live here long enough, you learn this lesson the hard way: explaining feeds the rumor mill. Silence starves it.
You don’t owe the island a press release about your personal life. The more you try to correct stories, the more people lean in. That’s just how small places work.
Protecting your relationship isn’t about defending it publicly – it’s about keeping it steady privately. If it’s solid between you two, the outside noise fades faster than you think. San Pedro has a short attention span.
Let them talk. Keep what’s good close. Most things don’t need an audience to grow. /s/ Doctor Love
Doctor Love is the islands, and possibly the world’s greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions concerning any subject except religion or politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact Family Services Division at 227-7541. The opinions herein are not necessarily of The San Pedro Sun. Write Doctor Love at PO Box 51, San Pedro Town, Belize, or email: [email protected]
